Exeter Odeon, Pink Panther 2
Cert PG, 96 minutes
By Graham Taylor
Having mistakenly arrived 40 minutes early for The Pink Panther 2, I ended up watching part of He’s just not that into you through the door. And having seen a chunk of the film, I can honestly say it put me in a bad mood. That many be why I hated The Pink Panther 2 so much – oh, and there’s the small fact that it’s just rubbish.
After the abysmal first outing of this ‘comedy’ reboot, everyone who saw it was left with a cold feeling inside them. Well, guess what? If you go and see PP2, you’ll get it back.
The plot once again revolves around the theft of the infamous Pink Panther, stolen by an evil thief (aren’t they all?) called the Tornado.
Having been demoted to being a parking attendant, Inspector Jacques Clouseau (played by a formerly brilliant Steve Martin) is somehow asked to join the Dream Team, a group of Inspectors from Italy, Japan, Britain and now France, who have all had valuable items stolen from the country.
As Clouseau joins the Dream Team (which is so aptly named taking into account the dismal actors who are part of the team – Aishwarya Rai, anyone?) with assistants Ponton (Jean Reno) and love interest Nicole (rising star Emily Mortimer), it become clear that the Tornado has more tricks up his sleeve. This leads Clouseau and the team to various areas across the globe, which include an (shock) amusing scene in which Clouseau dresses up as the Pope.
As the first film promised, there is also the sub plot in which Clouseau tries to romance Nicole, which leads to too many slapstick jokes and stunts, that are just really idiotic.
There are also turns from Andy Garcia, Alfred Molina and Yuki Matsuzaki, who are all terrible as part of the Dream Team, John Cleese, who takes over from Kevin Kline (who made the right decision not to return) as Inspector Dreyfuss, and Lily Tomlin, in what feels like a role that they made up in about two seconds to fill the time – and it’s just a waste of Tomlin’s talent.
This film has very little to smile about. The dialouge is occasionally funny, but most of the time, it’s very childish jokes – but this is for children, so it’s to be expected.
The plot line is also so full of holes, that it’s made one massive crater, and there’s also the non- romance between Martin and Mortimer, who’s lack of chemistry is excruciating to watch. And of course, there’s Aishwarya Rai, who isn’t really an actress, and if you do watch this film (please don’t) you’ll also understand what an appalling ‘actress’ she is – her voice is so lifeless for a role so important to the film.
John Cleese looked like a good choice to take over the role of Inspector Dreyfuss from a dire Kevin Kline, however, he’s no better; despite his obvious efforts, he just can’t make the horrendous dialogue work..
Steve Martin also tries to make the fim a little funner, but it seems his talent doesn’t stretch far enough to make this laughable excuse for a film any better.
I took my younger sister to see this, she’s 10 years old, and said it was ‘OK’; not a good sign for a film aimed at her age group. And the morale of the story – anyone over 10, avoid!
This looks to be the end of the franchise now, as it unsurprisingly flopped at the American box office. It may only be February, but this is an early contender for Turkey of the year- Bride Wars, you have competition!